Faith & Fatherhood…

I was listening to the radio today and heard someone refer to Miss California as our “modern day Esther.”  Seriously?  I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Maybe I walk in a strange place but as a practicing Christian I’m totally okay with the idea that America is NOT a Christian Nation.  It’s not like we have such a hot record on running countries/empires/nations anyway.  If I believe what I say I do, that God is my one-in-all then isn’t my allegiance really to God?  How can I just say “God Bless America” instead of “God Bless Us All?”  Too many fellow believers fall into a category I can’t take credit for but really like – people who are “RIGHT-ness-ous” rather than “rightous.”

That is to say that thier way is the one and only RIGHT way to be.

I do not have doubt that God exists, but I wonder what God thinks of people like that.  Course, I often wonder what he thinks of me…personally I just hope God laughs, and often!

But my knowledge is not the same as faith…and I wonder sometimes if that’s where my struggles lie.

If I KNOW something to be true, how can I hope for something I’ve never seen?  What if I’ve seen it?  I wonder about that seperation time and time again as a parent.  As my son was learning to walk, he could see other people walking and knew he could do the same…is that faith?  As my son has watched mother & mother-type figures leave him over and over again, reinforcing the pattern…where does faith come in?

Maybe this is the disconnect between experience and reason, between nature and nurture, I don’t know.

Maybe I’m just blathering because my head hurts, it’s almost quittin time and I’m wondering just what the next few weeks will hold as I get the divorce paperwork filled out and get ready to send my boy off for summer vacation with his mother…

I have faith that things will get better…

But I know they have to get a little worse first…

~ by jademark1 on April 22, 2009.