Soccer Dad
So it’s been a unique experience this season, I got put in charge of helping to put together the contact list/snack list et al for my son’s soccer team. I’m still trying to figure out exactly how I got “volun-told” to do this but all-in-all it’s been a good experience. It has also made me realize just how much goes into planning and organizing kids sports…and all I can say is whew – glad I don’t have to do this for a living!
My son’s team had two games this past weekend, both close but unfortuneatly both losses. We thought we might win the second one until the other team scored two goals right in a row in the last five minutes of the game. They played their hearts out though. I was very proud of my son, although I realized that much of what I yell from the sidelines is advice on where to be running/how to be playing rather than encouragement…I have played soccer before and am an avid fan of the World Cup. But it got me to thinking, especially with our theme at church today, “Tell What You Know” and I wonder…
How often as a father/teacher/etc do I offer advice/direction on what/how to practice belief, rather than encourage those on this journey with me?
I talked to my Sunday School class this morning about how the theme, which was taken from the book of Acts, related to Palm Sunday and the whole celebration/remembrence of Easter. Because we are an outreach congregation we often get kids who have zero knowledge of stuff from the Bible, but I have to admit I was still a little surprise when one of my kids today said they didn’t know what Easter was about. So we talked about what the Easter story represented and how God’s promise is alive in our lives. I even made her cry (in a good way!) as we talked about how much God loves them, just as they are. And then tonight at Praise Craze (a worship event for youth that I take my son to) we discussed a similar issue…also about how we hide and the maskes we use.
So, does the part of me that offers advice/criticism…is that a mask or the real me? What is my goal and hope?
I believe that God loves me, God loves my son, God loves my ex. I want to be a better person than I am. A better father, better disciple…I’m just not sure how. I feel like I should read more to my son, share the sacred story, hang out more…but I’ve already gotten the whole “Daaaad. I am a TWEEN now, I am NOT a child!” So I’m not sure just how far I can push it till I am no longer cool (although, that day may also have already come and gone!). He still talks to me, that’s the main thing. We argue, cry, shout, laugh, love and share together every day. My house isn’t as clean or as organized as I’d like it, but we have clean clothes, my dishes are (mostly) done, and my bills are (mostly) current.
I can’t be perfect.
But I can be a darn good Soccer Dad – just watch me go!
Your reflections on soccor dading from the sidelines reminded me of this fascinating piece about ways we praise our kids: http://nymag.com/news/features/27840/. Praise for “playing his heart out” may be just the trick. How old do you think kids ought to be before getting on the conveyor belt of organized sports? Thanks.
That was a really interesting article Stefan, thx for the link. It was also somewhat instructive as I was one of those so-called “gifted” children and I can sympathize a lot with the kids reactions.
In answer to your question, I think there are two things to consider. First, and IMO, most importantly, what is the child’s interest? Do they want to play something, if so, what? If not, how can you make it appealing?
Secondly, what types of leagues are available where you are at? Here in my town, the league that my son plays in is a non-competitive league that emphasizes learning the rules of the game and good sportsmanship. Every child gets a medal and trophy at the end of the year. Although it’s “non-competitive” the kids still care and know what their record is.
The main thing for me was that my son was exposed to sports and found one that he enjoyed. We tried several before settling on soccer, all through non-competitive leagues. For now, it’s more about the fun.
I suppose that was a really long winded way of saying I started my son in kindergarten, but it was for fun then and it’s for fun now. If there is ever a season where my son no longer enjoys playing the game, that one will be his last.