Who I am? or… Who we are…

So here is the latest version of the answer to this question… I’m in the midst of my 38th year as my grandfather would say.  I have a 17 year old child going on 25 (D), a 2 year old daughter going on 30 (Boo) and a long-suffering wife (N) of 4 years who loves me even when I drive her nuts.  We have lived and spent most of our lives here in the Midwest portion of the United States.  I like to write, read SF, play board games, watch movies, listen to music and of course cook.  I am currently working my way back down into the 200’s after reaching the 300lbs mark for the first time in my life a year ago.

My oldest is currently not living with me.  D likes to play video games, read comics, and ah yes…play video games.  D has also offered me many of most challenging moments as a parent.  I had basically full custody of D from the time D was 2 until this year with only 10-month period in that time where D lived with bio-mom.  We are not referring to D by gender nouns at the moment b/c D is currently struggling to understand and define what D’s gender is.  While originally indicating that D felt more of a “she” than “he”, there is still enough struggle in D’s mind that we have agreed to just use the initial for now until a final decision is reached.  That’s not the reason D isn’t living with me though.  That has to do with the drugs and the lying, but that’s another post.

Boo has been a joy and a blessing in my life so far, but has in her own way, been as big a test of my parenting as D ever was.  She currently enjoys wood trains, playing outside, bathtime and music videos and Muppets.  She dislikes naps, bedtime, strangers and most meat.  Somehow I have been blessed with two picky eaters as children… I suppose that’s what I get for cooking so much.

N has been a pillar of support and my partner in crime for these last four years as well.  I have known her since she was a teenager and I was in  my early 20’s.  Honestly I thought she was a bit of pain for years and years.  Then I got to know her and realized that the tough exterior was a cover for the shy and lovely young lady who has joined me on this journey.  We may not always agree, but we will always love each other.

Other than that… I’ve been all over the map and still find myself drawn to the center for one reason or another. I still work in Higher Education after having spent too many years in the social service field albeit in a new position at a new school.  I love helping people and working with the disadvantaged, but I can’t live there anymore.  Burnout is real and it hurts…a lot…and the cost is sometimes more than we can bear.

I believe in God even when I hate him which may be a curious thing for a minister to say.  Although currently we are on this weird journey together, into and through the wilderness of my life, I can say that the blessings I have been given are not always the ones I wanted.  But they were always the ones I needed.

I’m a great friend, a pretty good dad, an awesome boyfriend and a tough husband to deal with…

At least that’s some of what I’m told.  Truth is I don’t know who or what I am but I am beginning to…

Part of the purpose of this blog is to find out who I am, and who I want to become.  And that means looking at things honestly…for perhaps the first time in my whole life…

3 thoughts on “Who I am? or… Who we are…

  1. Well I wish you the best on your journey. I found reading others experiences and writing my own to be helpful in that process.

  2. Hey there,
    I came across your blog after seeing that someone had linked to mine from yours. It lead me back to your post regarding workouts in November and December. Although my blog requires a sense of humor with an understanding of sarcasm, and the ability not to be offended by my “peppery” language, I think you might find the nuggets of truthful info to possibly be helpful. If not my blog, then certainly my website (www.TrainSmartKC.com), as it is designed for people such as yourself, who are trying to do something good for themselves, only to get bombarded with ridiculous things such as that 300 repetition workout. As a fitness professional of 10 years, I will respectfully disagree with whoever assigned that as the challenge workout. On the other hand, maybe you can get a chuckle out of my not-so-respectful vantage point at http://www.BonerInSweatpants.com.
    Anyhow, wanted to say hello to a fellow midwestern blogger, and I will continue to check back to your blog.
    Bo Sweatpants

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