Surviving the big 11

So my son has now officially turned 11 and as my best friend pointed out yesterday is now older than John Conner was in the movie Terminator 2. It’s nerdy I know. But I don’t care, I am one – loud and proud baby!

I got the house clean, the food prepared, there were between 15-20 people over…for 4 hours…in December, in a condo with no front yard…

BUT –

Everybody had fun. As you can see here:

Opening birthday presents under the tree
Opening birthday presents under the tree

and here:

his favorite gift of the evening
his favorite gift of the evening

I’m pretty proud of this event. It was the first of its kind I’ve ever done everything for – the invites, shopping, cleaning, cooking, hosting. It’s a lot of work and I have much more respect for those who do this regularly or for a living. It would kill me. My son’s already asking about next year. On the brightside maybe that means we’ll have more time to plan!…probably not since we both suffer with that whole planning thing…but hope springs eternal!

Speaking of which – it’s that time of year again. I love Christmas, even as I hate December. It’s a time to think about the past year and reflect on what we’ve learned and what’s changed and an opportunity to think about what we want for the upcoming year and for ourselves and those around us.

I don’t know that I want peace. But I want joy. And hope. And love. I would go crazy if there wasn’t significant excitement and chaos going on around me. Well, not as much as I used to crave it. I don’t need it to hide in anymore. I still struggle with my fears – being hurt, failing, being a father, losing people, losing control. But I can and have and will continue to admit and face those fears. There’s a great quote from Evan Almighty when “God” is talking to Evan’s wife:

This does not mean that I blame God for the dissolution of my marriage, no. That was because of the mistakes I made, and that my wife made. But God has given me the opportunity since then to face things and come to terms with parts of my past that I have avoided/run away from/not dealt with for a very long time.

I’ll probably work on writing about those over the next couple weeks since I’m off work and the kiddo is out of town. It’s a struggle, him being gone. It’ll be the first time we’ve been apart at this time of year since he was 1. But I’ve got a good support network and lots of friends keeping me busy.

Did I mention that I love Christmas?